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Interpersonal
Relationships
Allyship

Leading Through Interpersonal Relationships

On the journey to  implement equity in practice, relationships must be the cornerstone of getting work done; and while positionality and power can help drive change, it is relationships across barriers that will make the outcomes sustainable.  

Shifting mindsets and behaviors is a difficult task but one that is required for long term sustainable change in any system, particularly in diversity, equity, and inclusion work. As all of the tools in this resource guide illustrate, every individual has their own set of beliefs, values, and circumstances. When you are appealing to others to shift their mindsets and behaviors, you can use various approaches if you understand those underlying beliefs. Below is a list of potential approaches you can use to help bring others along on a change journey:

  • Alliance building or coalition building is forming alliances with people who can influence others
  • Appealing to friendship is asking based on friendship, loyalty, trust, or a past relationship.
  • Appealing to values is honing in on people’s values and ideals to arouse their emotions to gain commitment
  • Consulting is appealing to other’s expertise, asking for input, or inviting them to become involved in a process.
  • Exchanging is giving something of value to the other person in return for honoring a request; it is based on reciprocity which says people tend to return favors.
  • Legitimating is using authority or credentials to convince someone they should comply with a request
  • Logical persuasion is using logical arguments and factual evidence to show a request is feasible and important.
  • Socializing is establishing a basis for asking, being friendly, disclosing personal information, or building a relationship
  • Stating is simply saying exactly what is required of the other person

Reflect

Think about a recent interaction where you had to present a case to an individual or a group that prioritizing equity was important.  

  • Which of the approaches listed above did you try? 
  • How did it feel for you?
  • Which were successful with whom?

Think about which approaches resonate the most with you personally in being convinced to do something.

In Practice

Spend time practicing several tactics in a safe space, with family or a good friend perhaps. For example, try convincing someone to run a marathon with you at 6am tomorrow morning! 

Before presenting others with a request or a change, think about your audience.  Which tactics may resonate with them? 

Role play with a friend how to respond to colleagues or family members who may not value or prioritize equity work. 

Going Further

Read

How to Influence Without Authority 7 Best Practices for Influencing Without Authority

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Last Updated February 23, 2022